What Works: Mistakes are an opportunity for communication

Ever messed up? That should be a rhetorical question. Because, the truth is, we all have. We have all fallen short. Sometimes the mistakes are small. Other times they are big. At the time of a mistake, we reach a crossroads. Do we hide in shame and continue to make the mistake worse? Or, do we embrace the oops, learn all we can about it, and use it to make ourselves better?

I call this crossroads the critical situation. Today, I’m going to approach this from both sides: the person who made the mistake and the people impacted by the mistake.

First, the mistake maker.

Acknowledge the mistake. Upset occurs when expectations are not met. If I expected an employee to show up on time and they don’t, that’s a fallen expectation which created an impact. When a mistake is acknowledged, that is just the first step to clearing the air.

Ask what the impact of the mistake is. We can assume the impact on others. However, we don’t really know the impact of our mistakes until we ask. Asking about impact opens the door to vulnerable conversation. Being late may have no impact at all. Or, being late could have caused someone to also be late for an important meeting. We don’t know until we ask.

Without excuses, lay out a plan of action to address the impact made. Now that it’s all out, prepare two to three changes that can be made to prevent a reoccurrence of the mistake. This is where the healing comes, promise of change and action on change. The person who was late can commit to checking out their car the night before to make sure they don’t have a flat tire. Or, they can check the night before to assure all settings are correct on their alarm. The important thing is that steps are taken to show how the impact of the mistake will be addressed.

Now, the mistake receiver.

There are two paths here. Sometimes you get acknowledgement. Sometimes you don’t. If you do get acknowledgement listen without blame or shame. If you don’t get acknowledgement, you may need to ask a question. “I noticed you were late. What happened?”

State the impact clearly. Keep it focused on you, not them. Avoid painting yourself as the victim. “When you were late, I had to call our boss and let them know I would be late to my meeting with him.”

Ask for a plan of action you can participate in. “How can I help you not be late next time? Is there any support you need?”

Both parties.

Mistakes are not made in a bubble. Sometimes, people are afraid to reach out. Or, the mistake may include an outside influence the person making the mistake doesn’t know how to handle. EMPATHY is important on both sides of the fence here.

It’s important for both parties to listen. Listen to understand versus respond. When we listen to respond, we short circuit our ability to communicate.

What is it you need to communicate to someone? Do you have a mistake to process? Apologizing is only the tip of the iceberg to true communication and connection.

SAY HELLO AND GET INSPIRED IN PERSON

Coming in June: Start your week off right by listening to “Drive Time” with Diane Dye Hansen on KNVC 95.1 from 6 am to 8 am on Monday mornings. Happy, motivational music, positive spins on negative news, interviews with people in the community who can bring joy into your life. Live coaching in studio! Diane’s second test show will be Wednesday, June 6 from 1 pm to 4 pm. Email diane@whatworkscoaching.com if you would like to be featured as a guest and have something GREAT to share with the Carson Valley or would like live, on-air, coaching through a challenge or problem.

Entrepreneurs: Spring into action on your business! Entrepreneur’s Assembly, Carson City chapter meets Wednesday, June 13, 2018 in The Studio at Adams Hub for Innovation and every second Wednesday of each month. Free mastermind group voted Entrepreneur’s Assembly Chapter of the Year 2017. 5:30 p.m. This session hosted by Karol Hines, Executive Director of Entrepreneurs Assembly

BE ON THE CRAPPERTUNITY INTERVENTION TV SHOW: Diane Dye Hansen’s show, Crappertunity Intervention, will be shooting August 14-16 in Los Angeles, Calif. If you can make it to LA and want help with your company’s critical situation, I want to help you. Apply to be on the show here: http://divinespiritnetwork.com/crappertunity-intervention

NEED GUIDANCE? GET IT FREE: Motivation Monday is back at Adams Hub for Innovation with NEW HOURS – 10:30 am – 2:30 pm each Monday. Email grow@adamshub.com to schedule two free 30-minute sessions or one free hour to help you with your career, business, or life. If you in transition (of any kind), please take Diane’s offer for this help.

GET HELP FOR YOUR TEAM/LEADERSHIP: Need motivation for your team? Customized talks, workshops, and consulting programs are available. Schedule a complimentary consultation at www.whatworkscoaching.com.

What Works Coaching
Diane Dye Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, an individual and organizational coaching and consulting firm based in Carson City, Nevada. She has 20 years of experience working with top corporations, growing businesses, motivated entrepreneurs, and individuals hungry for a fresh start. She is also the creator of DOCS Theory, also known as The Theory of CrappertunityTM, a mindset and change theory which defines the moment crisis creates more opportunity than would have existed without the crisis.

Diane holds a Bachelor’s in Business Administration and Marketing from Cal State San Bernardino and a Masters in Communication Management from the University of Southern California. She is also the Chief Executive Officer of What Works Recruitment, a company which specializes in filling hard-to-fill positions and fitting talent with culture. Her column appears every Monday, and sometimes Tuesday, in Carson Now.