What Works: Be free to be yourself, identify your core values

What does it mean to be free to be yourself? Sometimes, I see clients who are quite confused. Some are at the end of their rope. They are doing what they are “supposed to do.” But something is off. They are dissatisfied. Business, life, career, isn’t matching up to what they expected.

They feel a disconnection between what they are doing and what they love. Inevitably, that disconnection creates a problem. A bone breaks. A car crash happens. Revenue nose dives. They don’t feel happy in their careers.

They ask me, “what’s the answer?” I don’t have the answers. What I have are questions. The main question I ask these clients is this. What is happening right now, in raw, real, reality? What is in alignment with what you value? What’s out of alignment that may need to be adjusted? What is possible?

We don’t often stop to think about what our values are. We might think about it in a religious sense or maybe what we want for our families. But do we often pause to think what WE value? Cognitive dissonance is the fancy term for when what we value doesn’t align with what we are doing. We feel conflicted. We question why things aren’t working. In essence, something is wrong.

As humans, we are pleasure seeking, avoidant of pain. What we do to avoid pain inadvertently creates more of it. We mask what is wrong through denial, numbing, blaming, or becoming the victim. We isolate or look for others to commiserate. We become hopeless, we grasp at straws, or become angry or resentful. In the worst cases, we give up completely.

So how do we identify our core values so we can check self-alignment?

— In what situations have I felt the most joy?
— In what situations have I been absolutely miserable?
— What are my must haves in life?
— What are my deal breakers in relationships?
— What do the answers of these questions tell me? What are the common themes?

Your core values are your themes. These can be discovered through examination of the repeating scenarios in your life, business, or career.

Sometimes, for example, we discover what we want through what we don’t want. These must haves are non-negotiable. Discovering them is often associated with pain. That pain is a flag that leads you to aspects of life you cannot give up.

Core values guide our decisions, whether we are conscious of it or not. Becoming conscious and consistently aware of your core values can help you evaluate opportunities in a way that assures your decisions will keep you free to be yourself.

What a core value is NOT is a “should do” or “should be.” These values can be based on how we were raised, but not always. If your core values feel loaded, like they are someone else’s values, they might be! Self-examination is the key.

How can you build a life that is more in alignment with what you really value? What do you need to adjust to live in better congruence, so you can feel free to be yourself? Think it. Say it. Live it! The floor is yours, Carson City.

SAY HELLO AND GET INSPIRED IN PERSON
COMING SOON! Start your week off right by listening to “Drive Time” with Diane Dye Hansen on KNVC 95.1 from 6 am to 8 am on Monday mornings. Happy, motivational music, positive spins on negative news, interviews with people in the community who can bring joy into your life. Live coaching in studio! Email diane@whatworkscoaching.com if you would like to be featured as a guest and have something GREAT to share with the Carson Valley.

ENTREPRENEURS! Spring into action on your business! Entrepreneur’s Assembly, Carson City chapter meets Wednesday, April 11, 2018 in The Studio at Adams Hub for Innovation and every second Wednesday of each month. Free mastermind group voted Entrepreneur’s Assembly Chapter of the Year 2017. 5:30 p.m.

NEED GUIDANCE? GET IT FREE. Motivation Monday returns to Adams Hub for Innovation April 2nd. Email grow@adamshub.com to schedule two free 30-minute sessions or one free hour to help you with your career, business, or life.

GET HELP FOR YOUR TEAM/LEADERSHIP. Need motivation for your team? Customized talks, workshops, and consulting programs are available. Schedule a complimentary consultation at whatworkscoaching.com.

What Works Coaching
Diane Dye Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, an individual and organizational coaching and consulting firm based in Carson City, Nevada. She has 20 years of experience working with top corporations, growing businesses, motivated entrepreneurs, and individuals hungry for a fresh start. She is also the creator of DOCS Theory, also known as The Theory of CrappertunityTM, a mindset and change theory which defines the moment crisis creates more opportunity than would have existed without the crisis.

Diane holds a Bachelor’s in Business Administration and Marketing from Cal State San Bernardino and a Masters in Communication Management from the University of Southern California. She is also the Chief Executive Officer of What Works Recruitment, a company which specializes in filling hard-to-fill positions and fitting talent with culture. Her column appears every Monday, and sometimes Tuesday, in Carson Now.