Pine Nuts with McAvoy Layne: They're goodhearted women and much more
Submitted by Jeff Munson on Mon, 03/29/2021 - 12:23pm
Longevity for the Nevada man is projected to be 75.6 years, probably because we drink, smoke, gamble, and stay up 'til midnight howling at the moon. However, low as that number may be, it would be lower yet, were it not for saintly Nevada women who will be the saving of us.
Grandmother, mother, wife, friend, they are the bedrock that keeps a man's body & soul together, not to mention providing comfort and joy.
Truth be known, were it not for the steady hand that rocks us from cradle to grave, we men would have blown ourselves to kingdom come by now, mistakenly taking the sunnier sex along with us for the ride. No, it's the women folks who have the greatest capacity for love.
Only she can put a stop to internecine wars, for only when world powers are governed by women will we finally see warfare for what it is, the most grotesque of all embezzlements ever perpetuated by man.
When women finally rule we can say goodbye to genocide, jihads, crusades, and forever wars. A woman’s hand on the cradle of globalization is what our weary, worn-out world needs, and we need it right now today.
A tenacious pandemic along with an escalating climate crisis has temporarily focused our attentions more on saving lives than on threatening lives. For the first time in perhaps a hundred years the world has more heroes in the field of health than on the field of battle, and a good portion of those heroes are women.
Hunters have ruled and riled the world all along throughout the hoary halls of history, it’s time we give the gatherers a showing. Having already passed the longevity age for Nevada males myself, I will not be around to get to see the heaven-sent day, but the day will come when promoting general welfare and greater good will prevail, and it will be women who will usher in that all too belated and much welcomed day.
To my mind, there is nothing more reassuring than a goodhearted woman with lines in her face where the smiles have been, and a sparkle in her eye that hints of her eagerness to humor man into striving to be a better man, a kinder man, a more charitable man, with each passing day, month, and year. It's stirring, really, to know that this same goodhearted woman can take the reins of a country and usher that country into an age of world-wide reconciliation and goodwill.
Oh, and not to forget, we must remember to look out after our dear old mother, Mother Nature, along with our consanguineal mothers of course.
In closing I would leave you with an age old question, where would we be without women? Scarce, my friend, mighty scarce.
— For more than 30 years, in over 4,000 performances, columnist and Chautauquan McAvoy Layne has been dedicated to preserving the wit and wisdom of “The Wild Humorist of the Pacific Slope,” Mark Twain. As Layne puts it: “It’s like being a Monday through Friday preacher, whose sermon, though not reverently pious, is fervently American.”
