Movie Review: 'John Carter' a $250 million botch but sometimes fun
Submitted by admin on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 1:02pm
Make no mistake about it, "John Carter," playing now at the Fandango multiplex in Carson City, is a film with a nine-figure budget that takes itself seriously, although audiences may not. It's ripped from the pages of a 1912 newspaper series by Edgar Rice Burroughs of "Tarzan fame" (newspapers ran fun things like that in better times).
Director Andrew Stanton (at earlier times working at Pixar studios) has a lot to work with here, not only CGI images voiced by such as Willem Defoe, but hero Taylor Kitsch, bare-chested and bare of acting talent (when asked to respond in scenes he pauses, at a loss for words and his vision goes off to the side, perhaps to check the cue card for his line).
The film starts with the young Burroughs going to an uncle's house to find he's the inheritor of an estate, but he must read first his uncle's diary. Whamoo! He's transported back to the Arizona desert as uncle John Carter, onetime CSA cavalry solider who winds up being recruited by Yankees out to put down American Indian attacks (Carter's wife and child were victims of an Indian raid).
Carter stumbles on a carving of a medallion and Whamoo! he's transport to Mars as we know it, Barsoom as the locals call it. He awakens in the Mars desert and stumbles around until thanks to the lower gravity he can leap towering buildings. This is patently absurd, but don't let it bother you. It's a needed plot device.
He falls in with the Tharks, a weirdly four-armed breed of Martians, who are fighting the humanoids who live in two city-states, Helium and Zodanga.
Battles ensue, Carter meets and adores Deiah Thoris (Lynn Collins, who sports a fetching navel at times) who is sort of with the good guys, but don't sweat it.
Much in the way of airships, vaguely looking like winged bugs, and a solo vehicle which Carter manages to fly without any dual time on the controls. He's cavalry, remember. Masses of teams battle, the castles are sufficiently modern and it all works out OK.
Oh, that jumping stuff. As the film progresses the leaps grow and grow until Carter is Superman minus cape. Amusing back at the beginning, dull escaping logical demands later.
This is all foolishness and if it's the best a quarter of billion dollars can buy, the country really is in trouble. Cast does a reasonable job for those without talent other than fine peeks, the 3D is no better or worse than in other recent movies, just a excuse to up ticket prices.
It could have been camp with a few sillier plot lines, but nobody realized what a dog they had. Rated PG-13 but not a dirty word or bare breast to be seen or heard.
A date movie? Maybe if you could find a quiet corner in the cineplex where some dignified smooching could take place. Otherwise, depends on the IQ level. The lower the better.
--- Sam Bauman
Directed by Andrew Stanton
Produced by Jim Morris, Colin Wilson and Lindsey Collins
Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews and Michael Chabon
Based on A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs
Music by Michael Giacchino
Cinematography Daniel Mindel
Editing by Eric Zumbrunnen
Running time 132 minutes
Cast
• Taylor Kitsch as John Carter
• Lynn Collins as Dejah Thoris, Princess of Helium
• Samantha Morton as Sola, daughter of Tars Tarkas
• Willem Dafoe as Tars Tarkas, a Barsoomian warrior and ally of John Carter
• Thomas Haden Church as Tal Hajus, a vicious Thark warrior
• Mark Strong as Matai Shang, leader of the Holy Therns
• Ciarán Hinds as Tardos Mors, Jeddak of Helium
• Dominic West as Sab Than, Prince of Zodanga
• James Purefoy as Kantos Kan, captain of the ship Xavarian
• Bryan Cranston as Powell, a Civil War colonel who comes into conflict with Carter
• Polly Walker as Sarkoja, a merciless, tyrannical Thark
• Daryl Sabara as Edgar Rice Burroughs, nephew of John Carter
• Jon Favreau, who was once attached to direct the film when it was still a Paramount production, has a cameo in the film.
