What Works: Take Three Steps and Stand Up to Fear
I speak a lot about fear and how it can hold you back. This morning, I want to flip it a bit. Because, when you Face Everything and Rise, fear can actually be a good thing. First of all, your body is incapable of lying. Butterflies in the stomach, headaches, even body pains can tell you when something is going on.
These bodily responses can be used like a GPS though, to tell you what’s really going on inside you. It can tell you when fear is approaching. I challenge you, at least once this week, to stand your ground.
I remember the first time I did a public speaking class. I was in college and the butterflies were terrible. My voice shook as I spoke. I felt light headed. This was a physical sign of me doing something different. Now, at first sign of these physical responses, some people run.
It triggers a fight or flight response. The choice was mine. I could stand my ground and continue the class or I could drop it like a hot potato and run. I stood my ground. Each class, the butterflies became less and less. The physical response told me I lacked tools to deal with the situation I had placed myself in.
As I got the tools and training I needed, the butterflies stopped fluttering and I became able to speak in front of audiences. I owe my career to standing my ground in that class. Sure, I had been on stage before. I had lines in plays. But it’s a different game when no one is telling you what to say, where to move, how to be. I had to be (gasp) vulnerable.
Opening yourself to vulnerability is the first step in facing fear. One of my biggest fears, that can still hold me back to this day, is the fear of failure. However, how are you ever going to start in the first place if you are afraid to make a mistake? Realize that mistakes can be laughable things. Sometimes, they may not be laughable. However, they are ALWAYS learnable if you remain teachable.
The second step in facing fear is to train and practice. This is why actors rehearse shows, why professional speakers do a lot of speaking, and why scientists test their hypotheses as many ways as they can. By testing, training, and falling into practice, you can almost feel your body lightening up as you gain confidence.
The final step is to do it. That’s right, the moment of truth. It’s time for you to step on stage and out-perform your fear. That means leading the tough meeting, putting aside your pre-conceived notions about someone, taking the ski lift knowing you have been trained on how to pizza and French fry your way down the hill.
Pay attention to how your body feels after you have faced your fear. Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders? Do you feel more secure, confident, or perhaps serene? Tell me about a time you have faced your fear and won. The floor is yours, Carson City.
ABOUT DIANE HANSEN
Diane Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, a coaching firm that has helped people worldwide with their businesses, careers, mindsets, and profit margins. She brings to Carson City more than 17 years of experience with a wide array of clients, ranging from top corporations, motivated entrepreneurs and individuals hungry for a fresh start. Her column appears every Monday, and sometimes Tuesday, on Carson Now.