What Works: An Open Letter to the Community of Sutherland Springs, Texas

My sister lives in Sutherland Springs. I go there to see her every Thanksgiving. So, when she marked herself safe on Facebook from the mass shooting at the First Baptist Church, my heart dropped into my stomach. I called her and she relayed who she knew who had been shot. Eight people she knew died, five of them from the same family. Five more were injured. My heart rose to my throat.

Words do not express my sorrow for you as a community. For the last two months, I’ve been working on my Master’s thesis on how to create good from crisis. However, in that moment, I felt the optimistic view I possessed had lost its luster.

Mass shootings are acts of pure evil. Now, it’s your time to be pure good to each other. It’s going to be tempting to blame someone or something. Those who feel deep betrayal in crisis reach for that. My research has revealed that after every crisis, there is an uprising of goodness in the healing process. I call this uprising of good “Crappertunity.” Although it may seem like a flippant word in such dire times, I assure you its intended to bring light in the darkness.

The first element is awareness. Being aware of your neighbors’ needs. Understanding you can support each other and bond through grief. Being aware there are families who need support and love, a church family that needs a pillar of strength, and a community which was once quiet which needs shelter from a harsh global media spotlight, will help you gain the empathy needed to weather the storm.

The torrent of emotions you are experiencing pave a pathway to healing. Don’t deny them. Let them roll like a thunderstorm. Seek shelter in each other, God, and your community. I am not saying you will accept the horror that happened. However, you will come to clarity about how you can support one another moving on. Your bond was strong before. Now, your community can be iron clad in emotional support – if you let your neighbors in.
It is then, when you recognize you can choose what steps you take from here on that you can pave a pathway to resilience.

This may not happen quickly. For many it does not. Recognize everyone is different. The leaders in your community may lead fundraisers or create organized events to facilitate the grieving of others. Allow yourself to receive until you feel strong enough to take steps of your own. You will gather strength in time.

This gathering of support is essential. Groups who weather crisis together are stronger. Unfortunately, our nation has seen too much of this truth. Here in Nevada, we have seen this happen in Las Vegas. New York experienced it after 9/11. Whatever you do, don’t isolate. Visit the injured and hurting. Hug those who need a hug. Have real and vulnerable conversations. Support is the catalyst for change in our world, one voice supporting another can create a movement of love.

One day, you will find yourselves building anew. You will take action. I assure you to celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem. After a crisis, these moments of joy are pieces of gold which line the cracks of the trust that has been broken. The gold is valuable though. The love you show for one another now is valuable. Staying present for one another is valuable. Holding each other up is valuable.

My heart breaks for you Sutherland Springs. It breaks a little more because my sister’s heart is deeply affected as a member of your community. When crisis hits close to home, it’s easy to see why many choose to go numb. Today, now more than ever, I see the importance in staying present.

What Works Coaching

Diane Dye Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, an individual and organizational coaching and consulting firm based in Carson City. She has 20 years of experience working with top corporations, growing businesses, motivated entrepreneurs, and individuals hungry for a fresh start. Diane holds a Bachelor’s in Business Administration and Marketing from Cal State San Bernardino. She is also a candidate for a Master’s degree in Communications Management from the University of Southern California. Her column appears every Monday, and sometimes Tuesday, in Carson Now.