Carson City shoe shiner, retired educator seeks to restore lost art of communication

Conversation is a skill Mike Smith has polished to a gleam even more than the shoes he has shined since he was a youth growing up in Olive Branch, Mississippi.

But interpersonal human communication has grown into more of a passion for Smith, also a retired high school principal and 34-year veteran educator, who holds a master's degree in educational leadership.

"Conversation art is diminishing," he said. "We don't have it anymore and we need that."

Smith said face-to-face conversations and one-to-one communication have been diluted in a culture that seems to embrace distance between people rather than closeness.

"We here in the state of Nevada, in the capital city, need to regain that lost art of communication back," he said. "What really happened to having conversations and communications?"

The disconnect between people has created a paradigm shift in interpersonal communication, Smith said, especially conversation.

"How many people anymore actually sit down and take the time to craft a letter?" He asked. "It's email and texting. How many times do you go to a restaurant and see people on their phones instead of looking at and talking with each other?"

That's why Smith is starting a new event in downtown Carson City called "Ideas on Tap," held inside Battle Born Social at 318 North Carson Street on the first Wednesday of every month beginning Aug. 1.

"My objective is to restore back to having civil communication and dialogue without imposing on another's rights," Smith added. "Let's learn to be respectful again, and treat others as we would want to be treated by others. That's the Golden Rule."

The concept behind "Ideas on Tap" is to give people a venue to talk about issues and topics of interest to them, but do so in a respectful setting that's designed to reinforce the value of civil discussion.

"That was the aorta behind starting this, because we don't have conversations anymore," Smith said. "Sometimes people have their mouths in fast-forward and their brains in rewind. We have to pretend to be an elephant and be all ears."

The "tap" portion is where Battle Born Social comes into the picture, he said. Participants can purchase a drink or refreshment from the restaurant while engaging in topical discussions, which are free to attend.

"The conversation is on me," Smith quipped. "But the drinks are on you."

Smith started the "Ideas on Tap" concept in his native state through a 501(c)3 registered non-profit humanities organization called the North Mississippi Cultural Foundation, which addressed the interests of the region's diverse population of residents.

"I wanted to get people together, so we could have some civil discussions and conversations around things that interested them and things that excited them," he said. "Just a conversation without pointing any fingers."

The very first meetings were understandably small, Smith said, attracting a handful of people. But as word of the events spread, more and more people began to attend and talk with each other.

"We started off small, maybe a baker's dozen," he said. "But it grew to 30 people and then 40 people. It really brought out a diverse group."

Meetings would be held at different venues each time, Smith said, from restaurants to bank conference rooms.

"Wherever I could get the pro bono space for it," he chuckled. "We would change it up."

One of the more colorful topics discussed at the meetings was the Mississippi state flag, Smith said, and its meaning or impact on people.

"To some it meant pride," he said. "To others it was looked at as having racial undertones and a derogatory meaning."

The purpose wasn't to stir up emotions and cause trouble by raising a controversial topic, Smith said.

"Mainly it was just trying to stir people's complacency," he said. "That was the whole essence. Let's talk about issues that people don't want to talk about."

Smith said he noted throughout his working career that people tended to shy away from certain topics, avoiding them because they didn't want to get involved in something controversial or taboo.

"They didn't want to discuss or even throw a stick at it," he said. "But people who came said they were glad we had those conversations, because now they were learning a lot from each other."

The meetings were organized and structured, Smith said, sometimes featuring guest speakers who were experts on the topics being discussed. There were also norms and standards, rules of engaging in healthy, productive and civil conversation.

He said those same standards and rules will apply for "Ideas on Tap" in Carson City.

"I establish norms for all of the meetings," he said. "I will tell people at the beginning what the ground rules are. We are not going to be pointing fingers at any one. We're going to be respectful, practice decorum and we are going to be civil amongst each other.

"You may not agree with me, and that's fine," Smith added. "We can have two different opinions, but we can disagree without being disagreeable."

Smith said if persons turn a topic into a shouting match, they will be asked to leave so that the goal of sharing ideas is not corrupted.

"That is not the purpose of the meeting," he said. "Sometimes you have to let people make a--es out of themselves, because everybody else will see it."

Conversations sometimes have to be redirected, Smith said, because people may get off topic or they begin to attack people rather than the issue being discussed. That's where he comes in as a moderator, of sorts, for "Ideas on Tap."

"At times, I had to say 'time out,' because we had to get back to the topic and not attack individuals," he said. "We needed to attack the topic, which was the reason we were there."

To keep the event of interest to people, Smith said no one will know the topic of discussion ahead of time. He wants "Ideas on Tap" to be impromptu conversation that comes from the heart, rather than something that is pre-conceived in the head.

"What will make this even more interesting is that people will not know the topics of discussion until they get there," he said. "Otherwise, they come in with pre-conceived notions and ideas, thinking they will just Google it and do their homework."

Stimulating conversation between people begins with piqued interest, Smith said. The meetings are free to attend, so all Smith gets from them is the satisfaction of helping people develop healthier communication habits.

"My take away from these 'Ideas on Tap' is that we will disturb people's complacency, we will give people a venue to have a conversation and mix it up a little bit," he said. "It's not a place to b**ch."

Smith said he hopes to bring forth local topics that are of interest to Carson City residents, including voter apathy, changes to the circulation of the Nevada Appeal print edition, education funding, as well as why the Carson City Board of Supervisors meet during the working hours of most people.

"There may be topics that people don't want to touch, but here's a little country boy named Mike Smith turning things around," he said. "Being an old high school principal, I have tough skin. I mean what I say and say what I mean without being mean."

The first "Ideas on Tap" is scheduled for Wednesday, Aug. 1 from 6 to 7:30 p.m. at the lounge inside Battle Born Social, located at 318 North Carson Street in Carson City.

"Come out and order your favorite brewski, wine, or coffee in a very laid back relaxed atmosphere whether you’re a spectator, or wish to comment on the topic discussed," Smith said. "If you come hungry Battle Born Social features delectable small plates, and craft cocktails."

For more information, contact Smith at smithm410@yahoo.com.