McAvoy Layne

Music, I have to believe, is the best medicine on the shelf. It cuts down on our doctor bills and keeps us from sourin'. So I went to the Jubilate Holiday Concert in Truckee to cheer myself up and put a spring back in my step. It turned out to be the best decision I could have made.

Time to put a log on the fire, crank up Vince Gueraldi's "Linus & Lucy" and invite the neighbors in for an egg nog. It matters not weather those neighbors are Christian or atheist, white or of color, so long as they have good-fellowship in their hearts and a smile in their eyes.

In this long life of mine, nothing looms larger in my memory than riding the perfect wave, well, almost nothing. I could have been a Nick Beck if I hadn't fallen off my board. I used to watch Nick and Joey Cabell surf Cannons off the north shore of Kauai, and wish I could surf like that.

The popular sentiment this holiday season seems to be, "I'm going to save so much money this Christmas by talking politics at Thanksgiving."

I visited a performance center in Richmond, California last week and came away mightily impressed. How's this for a mission statement:

In human years our sun is 38 years old, so in another five billion years it will run out of gas, and without any emotion to speak of, will accidently vaporize its old friend the Earth. But do not despair. An insurance policy is on the way. By then we will have figured out how to move to a new neighborhood — a new universe, for we are explorers.

I had the honor of meeting some young authors at Edgewood Tahoe Resort the other evening, and was heartened to discover that the spirit of Mark Twain is alive and well, as represented by this handful of today's writers who invoke a Twainian sentiment.

Spent the last six weeks out on the Mississippi and Ohio, saving sinners while spreading the Gospel according to Twain. That's what I like to think, anyways. They saved me is probably closer to the truth.

Took a tour of Churchill Downs in Kentucky yesterday and got to see everything but the race. One nice thing about being a Mark Twain impressionist in the 21st century is the possibility that strangers will walk up to you and start talking to you as though they've known you all their lives.

I dined today with a lady from West Virginia and a lady from North Dakota, and came away from the table one mixed-up Cigiliano. The lady from West Virginia started talking about "noodling," which got the lady from North Dakota started on, "doodling."

When bad things happen and good people don't respond, worse things happen, and that's just the way of it. Today, while good people sit on their hands, hate crimes continue to drive the numbers of dead and wounded to formerly unimaginable heights.

It has been said that women don't sweat, they glow. Well, Mother Nature is starting to glow. While greed and conspicuous consumption thrive, carbon emissions continue to cook our planet. And so it becomes our solemn duty to leverage the power of markets, contain climate crisis, and rescue our Earth Mother.

Red Wing, Minnesota is the cutest town I ever saw. You can't see it without falling in love with it. I wanted to fold it up and take it home with me. They make shoes there, comfortable, sensible shoes. I was reminded of what my mother told me, "Honey, always have a good pair of shoes and a good bed, 'cuz you're either in one or the other."

The river life is a good life. Mississippi River life is as good as it gets, and when you're pretending to be Mark Twain it gets even better, as you become the one and only unfettered monarch in America, no matter what anybody else says. And fun? As Huckleberry might like to say, "I reckon not."

I fell in love last November with some ducks who marched in perfect procession down a red carpet to a fountain in the lobby of the Peabody Hotel in Memphis, and jumped in. They do it every day, and have been doing it for 85 years. To see it, well, it's enough to make an ogre smile.

The future of our world shines ever so bright, and the good energy is ever so palpable, as we welcome 75 Fulbright Scholars from 47 countries to America. These are the best and the brightest and they will do great things.

Lake Tahoe is a gateway for these young superstars, thanks to the Northern Nevada International Center and UNR.

There is no truth, as it turns out, to the rumor that Russian hackers plan to set off every car alarm in America at the same time, effectively making every man, woman and child crazy as a loon.

I know there is no truth to this rumor because I made it up. Still, we have to believe there are far worse scenarios brewing out there. The question remains, who is smarter, the good hearted cyber security folks, or the badass criminal hackers? It probably changes from week to week.

While in a wistful mood of late, I've been listening to the music of Miss Dinah Washington, who was on her seventh husband when she died of an overdose of alcohol and weight reduction pills at age 39, so young.

Dinah had a soft as cotton, tough as leather sound of someone who had seen more in her 39 years than you or I will ever see.

As Thomas Paine professed, "These are the times that try men's souls." Thomas must be spinning like a lathe. The framers of the Constitution had George Washington in mind when they entrusted authority to the office of chief executive. The framers could not have imagined a Donald Trump, even with stimulants.

My heroes will soon be floating away on a slab of ice with no internet, no phone service and no days off. These are the hearty scientists from 17 nations willing to ride around on an ice flow for months on a stretch, amidst the fastest changing climate in the world, the North Pole.

Will you agree with me that most people are good-hearted? Even robocallers, when they are done antagonizing the general public, must go home to their loving families and their loving dogs. Even tailgaters, when they are done terrorizing the general public, must go home to their loving families and their loving dogs. Well, maybe not tailgaters.

While waiting in line for a lift ticket this past winter I passed the time by whistling, "Born to Lose." I don't know why I was whistling that particular Ray Charles song, though I'm sure a psychiatrist could tell me. Be that as it may, a mother and young son were walking by when the little guy asked, "Mom, why is that man whistling?"

"Because he's happy, Honey," she answered with a smile.

For those of us old enough to remember King George, his wrath, and our grievances, well, bearing witness to the list of monarchies still in existence in the 21st century is enough to make a cow laugh. How can you not do anything udder than laugh out loud at a king, a queen, a duke or an earl when their countries trot them out for our admiration?

The U.S. Open returned to Pebble Beach earlier this month and all the talk was about the par three cliffside 7th hole, a charming peninsula that sticks out into the ocean 100 yards below the tee box, and looks ever so inviting -looks that are deceiving. With a stiff onshore breeze you might want to tee off with a three iron. With no wind, which is rare, you might want a wedge.

With some help from the Ghost of Mark Twain, Carson City Chamber of Commerce celebrated its accomplishments for the year at their annual meeting Thursday evening at The Martin Hotel Restaurant.

Hello Carson City. It is Thursday, June 13, 2019. After last night's thunderstorms that shook around the capital city we're looking at plenty of sunshine today with a daytime high around 86. Activities lined up include workshops, an anniversary party and showing at Artsy Fartsy art gallery, Food Truck Thursday at Mills Park, a Kiwanis Club meeting and Chamber annual meeting at The Martin Hotel, Cruise Night at Bully's Sports Bar, live music outdoors at Living the Good Life and more. Enjoy.

Bowers Mansion Regional Park will kick off its 2019 tour season with a Civil War reenactment this Saturday, May 18, followed by the first Programs on the Porch on May 24.

Hosted by Bowers Mansion Regional Park and Washoe County Parks and Open Space, the event is sure to be a blast, and not just because cannons were definitely a part of the civil war.

Well, that was an abrupt change in weather. Today will definite feel like fall, so bundle up. The Halloween festivities for the over 21 crowd get started tonight with parties at Living the Good Life, Ed's Doghouse, and Jimmy G's Cigar Bar. If your costume isn't ready yet, you'll still have plenty of opportunities between now and Oct. 31. A hypnotic fundraiser for Mark Lindquist takes place at Silver Oak Golf Course this evening.

Snowshoe Thompson, Julia Bulette and Mark Twain Together Again: What could possibly go wrong? Featuring Steve Hale as "Snowshoe Thompson" Kim Harris as "Julia Bulette" and McAvoy Layne as "Mark Twain" presenting history and comedy at Genoa Town Hall as you've not seen since the last time they were together!

The weekends seem to start earlier in summertime. Head down to Mills Park for the first of the rat-rods rolling in for this weekend’s Rockabilly Riot and to catch the motorcycle cops running some practice loops around the obstacle course. Seniors can head to the Community Center for vouchers good at the Third and Curry Farmers Market, residency and income restrictions apply. Join Mo’z Motley Blues on the lawn of the Dangberg Home Historic Ranch for a summer twilight concert – bring a chair or blanket, I suggest some bug spray and a picnic, as well.

THURSDAY: