Pine Nuts: First responders answer the call
Submitted by Jeff Munson on Sun, 09/01/2024 - 4:50pm
What’s the hardest job you ever had? Me too. Shoveling snow is by far the hardest job I ever had, because just when you think you’ve got it on the run, here comes some more. Of course this is nothing to first responders, firefighters or police officers. They make me feel like a Banana Slug, and my hat is off to them.
So then, what’s the easiest job you ever had? Me too. Shoveling snow is by far the easiest job I ever had, because just when your back is giving out, you go borrow a snowblower from a neighbor. But do first responders, firefighters and police officers ever have an easy time of it? Hardly.
As a news director in Honolulu I once took a ride-along on an overnight cruise with a police officer, and here’s how it played out.
We stopped on Hotel Street to separate a man and a woman who were fighting tooth and nail on the sidewalk. I pitched in to try to help my partner, and he tried to wave me off, but too late. The fighting couple turned on me, and the next thing I knew I was getting pummeled with fists and high heels.
My pardner came to the rescue and arrested them both for disturbing the peace. I had a red eye, but the cruise continued until we came upon a couple shoplifters who were exiting a liquor store on the lam with liquor in hand.
They took off in separate directions, so my partner took off after one, and I made the mistake of chasing the other. I was a pretty good runner back then and managed to run down my man and knock him to the ground, though I went down with him, breaking a large jug of red wine to make our landing ever more interesting. I’ll never forget the surprised look on his face as he gazed at me there on the ground and asked innocently enough, “Where’d you come from?”
I decided I had enough excitement for one night, and asked my partner for a ride home.
“Had enough Pard?” he asked, smiling.
“Yeah, for one night.”
I shook his hand, saluted him, and slept that night like a dead man.
I have never fought a fire and I worship those who do, and too, I remember in Vietnam when we called, “Corpsman Up!”
Those noble first responders came running no matter what hell was going on at the time. What valor, what ardor. Wow!
So this winter, when I start whining about my back being too sore to shovel a berm, just tell me, “Oh dry up!” And remind me that the first responders and firefighters and police officers who might also have sore backs, are out there on the job, answering the call. Bravo!
PS: I just figured out why Finland has been voted yet again, “the Happiest Place on Earth.” It’s because they’re getting 19 hours of sunlight today. Duh!
— For more than 35 years, in over 4,000 performances, columnist and Chautauquan McAvoy Layne has been dedicated to preserving the wit and wisdom of “The Wild Humorist of the Pacific Slope,” Mark Twain. As Layne puts it: “It’s like being a Monday through Friday preacher, whose sermon, though not reverently pious, is fervently American."
Want to hear McAvoy Layne tell it? Go here for a spoken word version of this column.
