What Works: You’re not nosy, you are collaborating

This morning, I was getting my morning coffee and gearing up for Motivation Monday at Adams Hub for Innovation. In the process, I overheard a conversation. Someone was looking for a solution. I had the answer.

At this point, I had a decision to make. Do I help? Or do I go about the daily filling of my coffee? If I speak up, won’t I appear nosy, like I intentionally listen in on people, or I’m trying to sell them on something?

That internal questioning may be a sign you have been called to serve. The question is this. Have you? The answer lies within your motive. Here are some possible motives to consider.

— If it’s to steer the conversation toward you. Don’t help.
— If it’s to get the opportunity to pass your business card and sell. Don’t help.
— If it’s to add value to the conversation and help by relaying knowledge you have, by all means, speak up!

Sometimes, people will really appreciate the information you have. I will give you an example.

I was in Costco and I was talking to the lady giving out free samples about the ingredients in the nuts she was sampling. She was curious why I was interested in ingredients in nuts. After all, aren’t there NUTS in nuts? I went on to explain I was about to start Whole 30 and sometimes companies will put peanut oil inside almonds for flavor. Peanuts and peanut oils are not allowed on Whole 30.

At about that time, I hear a voice. “Excuse me. I don’t want you to think I was intentionally listening in.” (Often, you aren’t… overhearing is just that, overhearing while you are doing something else). “But I heard you say you are starting Whole 30.” I went on to tell her yes. I was starting Whole 30 and, in fact, I was a little intimidated by the idea of it. But, I heard it worked.

It was at that point she mentioned she is a doctor and she loves Whole 30. She told me about a Facebook group I could join that had Whole 30 recipes that were simple.

As we got to talking, I thanked her and told her I was a bit hesitant. However, thanks to her choosing to speak up, I felt better. I thanked her for her support. She said she would be happy to continue to support me. We ended up friending each other on Facebook.

Yes, the doctor could have gone about her shopping when she overheard me. But, she had a real desire to help and had something of value to offer. This is the right motive for any type of collaboration.

Motive in communication is everything. Helping without expectation is so important. Communities are built on this principle. But oh too often people help and then they exercise their real motive.

The doctor could have said — oh and I run this support group and its $20 per session. Would it have been valuable? Maybe. But the motive of the helping would have been tied to a money string.

Today, I’m Facebook friends with the doctor. She checked in to see how I was doing on Whole 30. By the way, I finished it with flying colors. It was difficult at first, but then got easier by the day. She still hasn’t upsold me. But, I can tell you, if I run into someone who is looking for a doctor in Reno. I might just send a patient her way one day.

Keep Learning. Keep Growing!

Ongoing: Motivation Monday with Diane Dye Hansen at Adams Hub for Innovation from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. (Email grow@adamshub.com to schedule an appointment).

April 12, 2017: Diane mentors at Entrepreneurs Assembly (Occurs the 2nd Wednesday of each month in The Studio at Adams Hub for Innovation).

May 4, 2017: From Idea to Action, Diane speaks at the American Business Women’s Association, Reno-Tahoe Express Network, Atlantis Casino, Non-members: $25 includes lunch, INVITATION ONLY - Email diane@whatworkscoaching.com for an invitation and details.


June 20, 2017: From Idea to Action, Professional Saleswomen Network (PSN), Living the Good Life, 11:30 a.m.
Coming Summer 2017: 10 Steps to Business Success Workshop – 6-week online class – Sign up here for the What Works for Inspiration newsletter to receive details when available.

September 30, 2017: What Works for Productivity Workshop, Sophisticates Women’s Conference, at Kaia FIT in Carson City. Tickets can be found here. 



Need personalized help? Schedule your individual or group session at www.whatworkscoaching.com.

What Works Coaching

Diane Dye Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, an individual and organizational coaching and consulting firm based in Carson City. She has 20 years of experience working with top corporations, growing businesses, motivated entrepreneurs, and individuals hungry for a fresh start. Diane holds a Bachelor’s in Business Administration and Marketing from Cal State San Bernardino. She is also a candidate for a Master’s degree in Communications Management from the University of Southern California. Her column appears every Monday, and sometimes Tuesday, in Carson Now.