What Works: Need something? Ask!
Once upon a time, I was someone who wouldn’t ask for help. I considered it a badge of courage to be independent. Not asking for help meant I could handle things on my own. I was self-sufficient. I considered it radical self-reliance. Really, what I was doing was being radically unreliable.
There weren’t enough hours in the day to do everything I needed to do. By not burdening people with the ask, or being afraid to ask, I was making things harder than they needed to be.
It takes courage to ask for help when its needed. Ultimately, in the face of crushing workloads, dwindling resources, or outright emotional pain, the kinder thing to do is to reach out.
Here’s how you do it.
List it all out. Ask yourself: What needs to be done? This is called getting real with your situation. If you get real with everything that is on your plate, you can do something about it. If I stick my head in the sand about something for long enough, I can pretend it’s not there. Sure. But what’s the cost for that behavior? When I get real with what needs to be done, I can face it.
Schedule it. Put days of the week by what you need to accomplish. Ask yourself: Have I set myself up for success or failure? Rearrange your priorities if need be. You might need to look for things to cut from your schedule.
Look for resources. You aren’t asking for help yet. You are just looking to see who could help with what you need. I have a great example of this. I am going to Burning Man this year for the first time. I’ve been part of the community itself for five years. But this year, I get to go to the playa. I asked friends who had been before to help me with my packing list. I posted my list on Facebook to get more feedback. I realized I didn’t have to go it alone. Plenty of people were willing to provide input.
Ask for what is needed. This is the hard part. Ask for what you need. Take a deep breath and drop the question. You might be surprised by who comes to your aid. For my Burning Man supply needs, I got responses from Kirk Caraway, the owner of Carson Now, Mark Schmidt from Carson City Jewelry and Loan, and local marriage and family counselor and mediator Christine Salvo. Many friends came to my aid as well, providing everything from costumes to baby wipes.
Respond. Hire the professional. Respond to a friend’s offer to help. Take action. If you put it out there that you need help but then don’t respond to those offering help, why did you put the request out there. Accept the gifts the world is giving you with an open heart.
Be grateful and thank them. Gratitude is essential when someone helps you. I’ll be thanking those who let me borrow stuff with Burning Man swag. Sometimes, you may be able to help someone who has helped you.
Asking for help can be scary, especially if you aren’t used to doing it. But once you ask, you might be amazed who has the information, the helping hand, or the items you need. We’ve probably moved past the days when people visited their neighbors for a cup of sugar. But sugar comes in many forms. Who knows? One day you may have an opportunity to return the favor.
GET MOTIVATED
Ongoing: Motivation Monday with Diane Dye Hansen at Adams Hub for Innovation from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. (Up to two free 30-minute face to face sessions. Email grow@adamshub.com to schedule an appointment).
August 9, 2017: Entrepreneurs Assembly at Adam’s Hub for Innovation, inside The Studio. 5:30 pm, free mastermind group.
September 18-20, 2017: Workshop: “Success After Abuse: Empowering Women to Assert Themselves After Leaving an Abusive Relationship” - Nevada Coalition to End Domestic and Sexual Violence Conference, Atlantis Casino and Resort, Reno.
Schedule a complimentary 30-minute phone consultation with Diane any time at whatworkscoaching.com.
What Works Coaching
Diane Dye Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, an individual and organizational coaching and consulting firm based in Carson City. She has 20 years of experience working with top corporations, growing businesses, motivated entrepreneurs, and individuals hungry for a fresh start. Diane holds a Bachelor’s in Business Administration and Marketing from Cal State San Bernardino. She is also a candidate for a Master’s degree in Communications Management from the University of Southern California. Her column appears every Monday, and sometimes Tuesday, in Carson Now.
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