What Works: Going with the flow
Submitted by editor on Mon, 07/28/2014 - 2:45pm
When you live in the stream of life, instead of fighting the current, you find a sense of peace. This is what I realized after a deer ran into my passenger side headlight this weekend on the way back from a little getaway.
Projects rolled in last week and I was starting to develop a little pad of cash. I was thinking about buying a plane ticket to see my family in Texas for Thanksgiving. I was riding high. I had plans for this money! Not long after I had that thought, I came upon a herd of deer. I slowed and they crossed. After they crossed the road, I began to move — grateful I had missed them. Then, one of the deer just turns tail and runs into my car! Fortunately, I maintained control of my vehicle and it continued to run normally. The deer was likely nothing more than a dazed, since he ran off and I couldn’t see him in my rear view mirrors after the hit.
I continued home and decided to wait to assess the damage. What I found was some broken plastic around my headlight and a dent in my front fender. The estimate I got today was under deductible. Something happened to me mentally, though. There was almost a whooshing sound in my head as I saw the extra cash I wanted to use for a plane ticket leave my account. I realized I had a decision. Was I going to go with the flow, take care of the damage and move on, or was I going to get indignant about it all? I chose to go with the flow.
Attitude is a choice. Every day, we choose to look at situations through the lenses we put on. It we wake up discontent, we see things through lenses of discontent. If we are angry, we find other things begin to get under our skin. Negative feeling perpetuates negative attitude and it can really tear down our day. Suddenly, the “why me” mentality rears its ugly head and we are off to the races on self pity.
So what do we do about this?
We reframe it!
This tactic of reframing is directly from the Mindset 2014 class I have on my web site. Mindset 2014 was a live class that I converted into a learn from home course with worksheets, a workbook and all that good stuff that teaches you how to turn the “deer in the headlights” situations into opportunities for growth. Here’s how it worked on my situation when I first hit the deer.
Recognize and honor the issue: “A deer just ran into my car.”
Understand the situation: “I can still drive my vehicle. I am not hurt. I am safe. I am happy I am safe and this is not worse.”
Understand what you can do about it in the moment: “Nothing will be solved and I may even put myself in danger by trying to pull over and assess the damage. Getting angry won’t help my state of mind for the last two hours of my trip. I will keep going, get home safe, and then address the issue.”
Reframe it: “A deer ran into my car but I’m still able to drive. I’m going to take care of my safety and then address what needs to come next.”
Repeat this as many times as necessary until the issue is resolved. Breathing helps too. I know I took several deep breaths while the old negative thoughts tried to creep in. I just focused on my breath until I could start the process above with a clear head. After awhile, this process becomes automatic. You realize you are going with the flow and it feels good, no matter what the issue you are facing.
The full Mindset 2014 course is available at WhatWorksCoaching.com. I will post a direct link to it in the comments below. Change your mind and you’ll be amazed how it will change your life. Try the process above on something you are going through and let me know what you think. The floor is yours, Carson City.
ABOUT DIANE HANSEN
Diane Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, a coaching firm that has helped people worldwide with their businesses, careers, mindsets, and profit margins. She brings to Carson City more than 17 years of experience with a wide array of clients, ranging from top corporations, motivated entrepreneurs and individuals hungry for a fresh start. Her column appears every Monday on Carson Now.
