What Works: Dealing with and thriving through the unexpected

Life comes out of left field sometimes. I remember when I was laid off from my last full-time job. I had it all: a nice salary, stock options, insurance, and a 401k. By all auspices, I was set. More than set, I was really happy. I loved my co-workers. I really enjoyed the work I was doing. The boat was sailing on smooth seas. Then, the typhoon hit.
I was laid off four months into my Masters program. I didn’t know what to do. When the fog cleared, I’m grateful I took the action I did. I marched down to the Secretary of State and reopened my business. I opened it in 2009, but laid it dormant when consulting for DHHS/DPBH and running my company came to be too much. It was time to thrive.

What’s the moral of this story?

Sometimes, we rest in our comfort zones and circumstances upend us to help us find the next level of our lives. It’s not comfortable. It’s jarring. I can’t tell you how many times I have been in the throes of being upended and reached back for the sinking ship I was just throw from.

Here’s the deal, though. It’s a message that it wasn’t your ship. Your ship is bigger, better, and more abundant with opportunity than you can imagine. You just need to believe that.

“Ok Diane,” you may be saying. “That is easier said than done.”

To that, I say this. It’s possible if you remain open to the possibility.

Dealing with and thriving through the unexpected is about being open to receiving support and help. It’s hard to ask for help. However, it’s in the connections and relationships you build where your future emotional, spiritual, and even financial support could be.

— Don’t hide from your closest connections. This is your opportunity to connect with others on a vulnerable level. One of the “toxic safety blankets” I discuss in my theory is isolation. This is not the time to go it alone or separate yourself to figure it out. Conversely, it’s also not the time to rage against the machine. When you approach your closest connections, avoid victimization or blame. You are not a victim and “they” are not to blame or hate for your unexpected change. Open your heart to being supported in a more loving way.

When I got laid off, I got on the phone. A dear friend, who has sadly passed away now, told me my theory was worth exploring. He told me I could leverage my loans I was receiving for school to support my housing needs while I was in school. Yes, I would have to bank on my future self for my long-term benefit. But, what I heard from him is that I was investable. His belief in me helped me find the belief in myself to take action.

— Know what your resources are. Denial and numbing are two “toxic safety blankets” that can creep up in times of life disruption. Although there is nothing wrong with a happy hour to shake it off, or distracting yourself with fun for a little while, it’s tempting to stay there. To consciously work things out, you need to bring yourself into awareness, consciousness, and humility with the situation as soon as you can. Shorten that window and you will spend longer in the solution than in the problem.

I did an inventory of all my expenses and what I would need. I got real with what my run up was. How long did I have to ramp up business again? I knew if I could build my business before graduation that my friend’s idea was viable.

— Examine yourself. We all have expectations about how things are going to turn out. Within our expectations rest a message about ourselves and our real desires. What was it about pre-disruption life that was going well? What would you discard? Knowing these things helps you structure the pathway forward. Soon, you will find yourself in gratitude.
I discovered a deep desire to be the captain of my own ship. I had no problem challenging the wealthiest CEO, if I saw a benefit to the company. This didn’t work so well for full-time employment. So now, the CEOs pay ME to challenge them! See how that works? You have a gift that is better utilized on your next road. Disruption is a gift, a true CrappertunityTM, for you to create a new future. I challenge you it might even be a better future!

What are you going through right now? How can your friends support you? Post this article on social media, comment below, and know that I am here for you. The floor is yours, Carson City. Think it. Say it. Live it!

SAY HELLO AND GET INSPIRED IN PERSON

Spring into action on your business! Entrepreneur’s Assembly, Carson City chapter meets March 14, 2018 in The Studio at Adams Hub for Innovation and every second Wednesday of each month. Free mastermind group voted Entrepreneur’s Assembly Chapter of the Year 2017. 5:30 p.m.

Motivation Monday returns to Adams Hub for Innovation. Email grow@adamshub.com to schedule two free 30-minute sessions or one free hour to help you with your career, business, or life.

Need motivation for your team? Customized talks, workshops, and consulting programs are available. Schedule a complimentary consultation at whatworkscoaching.com.

What Works Coaching
Diane Dye Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, an individual and organizational coaching and consulting firm based in Carson City, Nevada. She has 20 years of experience working with top corporations, growing businesses, motivated entrepreneurs, and individuals hungry for a fresh start. She is also the creator of DOCS Theory, also known as The Theory of CrappertunityTM, a mindset and change theory which defines the moment crisis creates more opportunity than would have existed without the crisis.

Diane holds a Bachelor’s in Business Administration and Marketing from Cal State San Bernardino and a Masters in Communication Management from the University of Southern California. She is also the Chief Executive Officer of What Works Recruitment, a company which specializes in filling hard-to-fill positions and fitting talent with culture. Her column appears every Monday, and sometimes Tuesday, in Carson Now.