What Works: Have an expectation? Try communication!

I used to say, “expectations are pre-meditated resentments.” I used to try to stop myself from having expectations, of myself, others, and outcomes. Every time I tried to stop myself, I waged a private war in my head. What I didn’t realize at the time is that I needed to stop communicating with myself so much and start communicating with others.

When you are clear about your expectations and have an honest, open, and vulnerable discussion about those expectations, you are most likely to get them met.

No, not everyone will bend to your will. That’s not what I’m saying.

What I am saying is we spend 90 percent of the time expecting and 10 percent of the time communicating with others.

I love this quote by George Bernard Shaw. “The single biggest problem communication is he illusion it has taken place.”

In my opinion, communication has not taken place unless there is dialogue. There are several ways to create dialogue.

Verbal Discussion: Verbal discussion is a back and forth straight-forward dialogue about the expectation. By straight-forward, I mean no hints, no passive aggressive communication. This is hard for a lot of people because their fear gets in the way. They worry themselves about the outcome of the communication before it happens. Many people talk themselves out of verbal discussion because of this. Non-communication, keeping it in your head, is a special kind of self-torture. Why do that to yourself? Start the conversation!

Verbal Agreement: This can be a very simple request. Can you take out the trash right now? Let’s break that down. Can you (capacity) take out the trash (expectation) right now (timeline)? When you communicate capacity, expectation, and timeline, you increase your chance of clear communication. If you get a yes to that, then you are more likely to get follow through when you say, please do that for me.

Non-Verbal Cues: Sometimes, non-verbal communication is suitable. This is helpful in a noisy or crowded room. However, this is the WEAKEST form of communication. It’s easily misunderstood and should be a last resort when communicating. Non-Verbal cues, to be most effective, have a verbal history.

Action: Actions speak louder than words. However, past action does not ensure current action. Keep communicating, reinforcing, and building a culture where it is safe to communicate. Hostile working environments are created when action is expected over re-communication. Everyone gets in their heads. Chaos ensues.

Next month, I will be visiting offices throughout the Carson City area helping local businesses tighten their communication processes. If you would like to learn more, email me (link to diane@whatworkscoaching.com).

How are you communicating? Are you leaving words, and therefore actions which meet your expectations, on the table?

Think it. Say it. Live it! The floor is yours, Carson City!

SAY HELLO AND GET INSPIRED IN PERSON
Spring into action on your business! Entrepreneur’s Assembly, Carson City chapter meets Wednesday, April 11, 2018 in The Studio at Adams Hub for Innovation and every second Wednesday of each month. Free mastermind group voted Entrepreneur’s Assembly Chapter of the Year 2017. 5:30 p.m.

Motivation Monday returns to Adams Hub for Innovation April 2nd after Diane goes to Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Academy with her team. Email grow@adamshub.com to schedule two free 30-minute sessions or one free hour to help you with your career, business, or life.

Need motivation for your team? Customized talks, workshops, and consulting programs are available. Schedule a complimentary consultation at whatworkscoaching.com.

What Works Coaching
Diane Dye Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, an individual and organizational coaching and consulting firm based in Carson City, Nevada. She has 20 years of experience working with top corporations, growing businesses, motivated entrepreneurs, and individuals hungry for a fresh start. She is also the creator of DOCS Theory, also known as The Theory of CrappertunityTM, a mindset and change theory which defines the moment crisis creates more opportunity than would have existed without the crisis.

Diane holds a Bachelor’s in Business Administration and Marketing from Cal State San Bernardino and a Masters in Communication Management from the University of Southern California. She is also the Chief Executive Officer of What Works Recruitment, a company which specializes in filling hard-to-fill positions and fitting talent with culture. Her column appears every Monday, and sometimes Tuesday, in Carson Now.