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Pine Nuts: Fear of public speaking? Here's what Mark Twain would say

Public speaking is one of mankind’s greatest fears. A young lady once told me that she would rather have a coyote gnaw on her arm than to have to speak in public. This does not have to be. Once you understand that the public does not care to hear a message, but would love to hear a story, it’s like wrapping your dog’s medicine in a treat, and the public speaker need only wrap her message in a story.

As our mutual friend Mark Twain tells us, “A good story should have a little humor in it. The comic story is English, the witty story is French, and the humorous story is American. The English and French stories depend upon the matter for their effect, where the American story depends upon the manner for its effect.

Here’s an example of an English story.

In the course of a battle a soldier whose leg had been shot off appealed to another soldier who was hurrying by to carry him to the rear, whereupon the generous son of Mars, shouldering the unfortunate, proceeded to carry out his desire. The bullets and cannonballs were flying, and presently one of the latter took the wounded man’s head off—without, however, his deliverer being aware of it. He was hailed by an officer, who shouted:

“Where are you going with that body?”

“To the rear, sir — he’s lost his leg!”

“His leg? You mean his head, you booby.”

Whereupon the soldier dispossessed himself of his burden, and stood looking down upon it in great perplexity.
“It is true, sir, just as you have said. But he TOLD me it was his LEG!”

(It’s enough to make you want to renounce joking and lead a better life.)

No, the humorist’s job is merely to show us the good-natured side of the truth. And the humorist is not looking for a laugh. The humorist is looking for a nod of acknowledgment, or the hint of a smile. There is a vast difference between the comedian and the humorist.

The comedian’s job is to make us laugh, and laughter is good for us, it’s like massage on the inside, it’s like money in our pocket because it cuts down on the doctor bills. But laughter, without a thread of philosophy woven into it, is but a sneeze at humor, genuine humor is replete with wisdom.

Yes, the humorous story may be spun out to great length, and may wander around as much as it pleases, and arrive nowhere in particular. So don’t be afraid to use it while public speaking. Tell your story from the heart, and it will be well received.

As is our custom, we shall leave the last word to Mr. Twain: “If a piece of humor is to last, it must do two things, it must preach and it must teach. If done effectively, that piece of humor will last forever -which is thirty years.”

For more than 35 years, in over 4,000 performances, columnist and Chautauquan McAvoy Layne has been dedicated to preserving the wit and wisdom of “The Wild Humorist of the Pacific Slope,” Mark Twain. As Layne puts it: “It’s like being a Monday through Friday preacher, whose sermon, though not reverently pious, is fervently American." Go here for the spoken word version of this and other columns.

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On Friday, the Boys and Girls Club of Western Nevada announced its expansion into Minden.

“We are so incredibly honored to announce the brand-new Wray Family Clubhouse opening in August of 2024 in Minden,” a spokesperson wrote.

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Steven Michael was arrested after deputies responded to a report of a domestic assault.

Since creating its Jump Start College more than decade ago, there have never been as many graduates as the Western Nevada College’s Class of 2024 produced.

WNC will honor a record 168 graduates at graduation ceremonies on May 20 in Carson City and May 23 in Fallon.
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Carson City is now accepting Letters of Intent for the Community Development Block Grant (CDBG) projects taking place July 1, 2024 – June 30, 2025.

The City is specifically seeking projects correlating with the City’s FY 2023-2028 Consolidated Plan, approved on August 3, 2023.

Ricardo Serrano Perez was sentenced to 20 years in the Nevada Department of Corrections with minimum parole eligibility of 8 years. Perez was sentenced pursuant to a guilty plea agreement whereby the parties stipulated to the maximum sentence.

Carson High Speech and Debate will be hosting the inaugural Carson High Show and Shine car show Saturday May 25th in the north parking lot of CHS from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Anyone with a classic or cool car can enter their vehicle in the event for $25.

Awards will be given for the top 10 entrees. See the attached flyer or you can register day of. Anyone can come check out the cars free of charge.

There will be raffle prizes, face painting for the kids, and food trucks on site.

Donna Inversin, President of The Historic Virginia & Truckee Trail, will speak on the nonprofit's effort to find those remaining sections of old rail bed routes and stitch them together to build a multi-use path of between 60 and 80 miles that will be an echo of the Virginia & Truckee Railroad for the benefit and enjoyment of the citizens and visitors of Northern Nevada.

The Carson City Sheriff’s Office Investigation Division is seeking information from the public to identify a suspect in a vehicle burglary investigation.

Carson City Parks, Recreation and Open Space is introducing the capital city's first Trails Challenge in hopes of turning it into an annual outdoor adventure.

Carson Water Subconservancy District will host its two-day “Get on the Bus!” tour of the Carson River Watershed June 11-12 from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Expert guides will cover topics ranging from water rights, river-restoration projects, and water quality and quantity to floodplain management, regenerative agriculture, and more.

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A 63-year-old housekeeper was arrested Thursday for 14 counts of credit card fraud and other offenses after allegedly stealing a credit card belonging to an 86-year-old patient who family members said was being treated for a stroke at a local care facility, according to a Carson City Sheriff's Office detective.

Marie Finkes is the director of FitzHenry’s Funeral Home in Carson City, and said that over the past year, there have been 12 bodies under her care that have been subject to extended stays. This is due to the fact that Carson City Public Administrator Scott Hoen has ignored their repeated requests for an electronic signature releasing the body for cremation.

Have you ever wanted to learn the old art of Blacksmithing? Early smiths made wagon parts, handmade tools, shaped ornamental pieces, horseshoes, hinges and just about anything to having to do with working metal into a desired shape or purpose.

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Pioneer Academy in Carson City celebrated their outstanding students at a combined National Honor Society Induction and awards ceremony Thursday, April 25, 2024. Thirty-eight students received awards for attendance, scholarship and excellence in the classroom.

The Virginia Truckee Railroad begins its 49th season on May 25, 2024, with an exciting schedule of both steam and diesel locomotives. The scenic train ride departs daily from the original Virginia City depot where millionaires and miners sought their fortunes 150 years ago.

Carson City School Trustees heard an update regarding the proposed absorption of Pioneer Academy under Carson High School.

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On May 15th, 2024, shortly after midnight, deputies with the Lyon County Sheriff’s Office responded to a residence located on the 600 block of Angela Street in Fernley, Nev., reference a caller who reported that he had murdered his mother. The caller additionally provided that he barricaded himself inside the house, was armed with a rifle, and had planted pipe bombs at the residence.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and as part of that, Partnership Carson City (PCC) and OSP Northern Nevada are holding a workshop focused on suicide prevention training.

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The Carson City School District took time at the School Board meeting Tuesday night to recognize 22 individuals with the “Distinguished Student Award.” The student winners were selected by administrators and recognized from their respective schools as having specific qualities, skills and characteristics that distinguished them.

Carson City Sheriff’s Office investigators are asking the public for help in identifying a vehicle and suspect linked to the theft of a catalytic converter earlier this year.

Join the Senator Youth Football Camp for K-8th graders. $80 covers 3-nights of camp from 6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m., June 17, 18, and 19. Led by the CHS high school coaches and players, children will learn techniques for all positions, play games, and compete.

Carson High School Wrestling invites you to our annual Golf Tournament on June 15th, 2024, at Silver Oak Golf Course in Carson City. This event is crucial for our program's success as it serves as our main fundraiser.