Pine Nuts: Our Huckleberry hero who loves them Beer Nuts
Submitted by Jeff Munson on Sun, 11/12/2023 - 6:04pm
Most friends who have visited Layne Haven over the past six years have met my pet Jay, Huckleberry. He stops by three times a day, 8 a.m. for breakfast, noon for lunch, and 5 p.m. for Happy Hour, when he gets a Beer Nut.
Huckleberry has been my constant companion since 2017 when he was hatched right here on the second deck. I spread a sleeping bag out on the drive below when he fledged. He hit it dead center and looked up at me as if to say, “Thanks, Pal.” We’ve been fast friends ever since.
If I sleep-in, Huck will bang on the window with his beak as if to say, “Hey, let’s get some breakfast going out here!” He has even gone so far as to fake his own death to get my attention. Then he jumps up as if to ask, “Got any Beer Nuts on you?!”
Over the years Huck has learned English and a smattering of Spanish that he has picked up from the neighbors. So yesterday I sat down to have a father - son talk with Huck.
“Huckleberry, now is the time for all good jays to come to the aid of their planet. You are destined to become the world’s first feathered Superhero, now let me tell you how.
I am going to band you with a global positioning device that will guide you to the windowsill of the Secretary General of the United Nations, Antonio Guterres, where you will flop onto your back and fake your own death, like you are prone to do. Your legs will be banded with the words, ‘CLIMATE’ on one leg, and ‘PEACE’ on the other.
I shall alert Secretary General Guterres that you will be coming, and ask him to take a photo of your petition for the world to embrace, ‘PEACE’ and ‘CLIMATE!’ The Secretary’s photo will circle the globe to capture hearts and minds the world over. Peoples from Fairbanks in Alaska, to Antarctica’s Union Glacier Camp will wake up and take notice.”
They will ask, “If a Nevada Jay can be aware of the perils that we all face, who are we to ignore this feathered friend called, Huckleberry?” World peace and a cleansing of the atmosphere are sure to follow.
“Secretary Guterres will disband you, Huck, and you should have no trouble finding your way back to Layne Haven, where your girlfriend, Emmeline, and I, will be eagerly awaiting your return.”
In closing, Nevada’s premier artist, Steven Saylor and I are collaborating on a book to chronicle Huck’s heroic adventures. We’re calling it, Our Huckleberry Hero, to be available soon wherever books are sold, and I promise the gentle reader, you will want to frame Steven’s illustrations.
Of all the superheroes the world has ever known, who in God’s Green Acre could turn a cold shoulder to a Sierra Nevada Jay named Huckleberry? Heck, I might even wash and peel two Beer Nuts to welcome Huckleberry back home.
— For more than 35 years, in over 4,000 performances, columnist and Chautauquan McAvoy Layne has been dedicated to preserving the wit and wisdom of “The Wild Humorist of the Pacific Slope,” Mark Twain. As Layne puts it: “It’s like being a Monday through Friday preacher, whose sermon, though not reverently pious, is fervently American." Go here for the spoken word version of this and other columns.
