What Works: How to communicate when overwhelmed

Have you ever felt like projects, circumstances, the world was just piling on top of you like rocks? One rock is easy. You can catch it as it falls from the heavens and deal with it: setting it to the side, jackhammering it up into little pieces, or giving the rock to someone else.

But when the rocks start to fall fast, you run for shelter. You put something over your head as you run so one doesn’t crack your skull. You pray for the rocks to stop falling and creating wreckage. When the avalanche is over, you are happy for the break. But now it’s time to deal with all the rocks!

Use whatever analogy you want, but this is what overwhelm is like. The overwhelm needs be dealt with or it will keep you in your shelter. There are two ways to deal with life when it’s all too much. 1) Manage yourself. 2) Communicate with others.

Manage Yourself
Grounding: When you are overwhelmed and need to get perspective, your bodies’ autonomic functions kick in. Breath becomes shallow. The heart rate goes up. To self-regulate the body, take deep breaths that fill your belly up with air and deflate the belly. You know you are taking a chest breath if your shoulders are moving. Then, name 5 things you can see, 5 things you can touch, at least one thing you can taste, and at least one thing you can smell. What this does it is brings you into the present moment.

Self Care: Feed yourself. Drink water. Get up and move a little. Take a shower. Brush your hair. Get dressed. Do some basics for self care to bring the focus back to you. A lot of overwhelm is the spin about the impact of all you have to do on others as well as yourself. Pull it back to yourself through self care.

Choose One: There may be a lot to do. But you can start with one thing. Complete one thing and choose another thing. For me, this morning, it was about understanding my commitments. By taking some time and just getting a grip on what I had already said yes to, I felt better. Then I did some project work. Now I’m writing this article. One at a time, I accomplish something and I get a little distance from the situation. It’s enough to regulate my body’s responses, stop fight or flight, and come into reality a bit.

Communicate with Others
Ask Questions: Who is impacted by the items that are overwhelming you? Choose one and ask questions. Rather than recap the overwhelm, check your reality and understanding by asking questions. Getting back into the story of the overwhelm will restart the anxiety. So, resist going there.

Set Boundaries: If you need time to accomplish something, ask for it. If you need to find a solution for something, let those who are impacted know. By setting boundaries you develop a container for the problem. You say, 1) this is the issue, and 2) here are my needs and limits.

Ask For Help: During this process you may discover you need help. Take a deep breath and ask for help. Be clear about what you need. You can delegate, ask for guidance, or ask for assistance. Sometimes, when we need help but we are afraid to ask for it, it can produce overwhelm.

What’s your go-to when you get overwhelmed? Which one of these tips could you try the next time it feels like the rocks are piling on? The floor is yours, Carson City.

ABOUT DIANE DYE HANSEN
Diane Dye Hansen has more than 20 years of experience in communication and change management gained in the sectors of government, non-profit, healthcare, publishing, advertising, entertainment, and technology. Her Critical Opportunity Theory helps organizations and leaders turn challenge into opportunity through proper leadership and team communication.

She is the president and founder of What Works Consultants, Inc., a consulting firm which helps business leaders communicate when communication is hard. This is done through research, strategic communication planning, change management consulting, human resources recruitment and training. She is a columnist on CarsonNow.org. To meet her and learn how she and her team can help your company, visit What Works Consultants, Inc. online at www.whatworksconsultants.com.